Monday, June 13, 2011

Pain is all I have
Pain is all I feel
Will you...
Share it with me

Pain is all I got
Pain is all I see
Will you...
Bear it with me

Chest heaving.
Is receding.

I asked
For your help
I asked
For your gospel.

You handed me
You waved me

I lay at your feet.
I'm finally free.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Rules Of The Game

It whizzed past your ear
The surprised look on your face
Pure priceless.
You had thought
I didn't know the rules
And all the while I was
The one playing you instead.

I just stood at one spot
Waiting for you
To send everything my way.
While I made you run
On my whims and fancies
All over that court
And across as well.

You didn't give it your all
Scared you'll hurt me
Maybe even scar my feelings.
I let you have your way
A drop here, a miss there
'Cus it felt nice to know
That's how much you cared.

And so it became
A new game altogether
A game that was all mine
The power of it enthralled
For I was the one making
The rules of this game
And it felt almost divine.

Yet there was a lost charm
For I never was the one
To fool someone for long.
The thrill for me 
Is always in the victory
Of beating someone
Who is my equal in all.

You look at me uncertain
You give me all you got
I know you wish
That I'd take it
And allow you to play
All those moves you've been
Holding back on for so long.

In a split second
I send it sailing back at you
In tandem we move now.
We take it up a notch
And turn it into a heady waltz
Knowing all too well
That the rules of the game
Are yet to be formed.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011



She always wondered why they had named her Dastaan. After all it was a very unusual name. So what was the Dastaan behind her name then?

And that night while the storm raged outside and they sat all cozy inside, she looked up to see her Dad smiling at her in the way that was reserved only for her. The smile that said 'you make my world beautiful'. And suddenly she asked, "Why did you name me Dastaan?" 

They looked at her, a bit puzzled.

"I mean I love my name. But why Dastaan?"

She listened to them trying to explain, blubbering and disoriented at first. Calling her a story, a tale, a saga etc. And then they got into the flow  and told her about -

The Dastaan that was their life. A Dastaan they lived. Their own Dastaan.


As she heard them talk, she could see it all happening in her mind's eye. That was the way she imagined it happened anyhow.

She imagined the astonishment on her Dad's face when on their first meeting her Mum, a complete stranger to him then, leapt into his arms sobbing. She could imagine her Mum clinging harder to him with each thunderbolt and Dad trying to soothe her and falling in love with her. Right then and there.

She could imagine her father, the dream of every romantic woman, wooing her Mum. And her mother, the idea of every man's perfect woman, let herself be courted. She could see the pain on those young faces when they parted and her father went to the war.

She could almost see the destruction that shadowed her Dad's face whenever he thought nobody was looking for years after serving in that infernal war. She remembered those videos from her childhood where her father would be sitting as if frozen til the time he noticed either Mum or her. That's when a smile would light up his face and crease the corner of his eyes as if some of his pain had just dissipated.

She remembered her childhood then. The bed-time stories, the walks with her father to the ice-cream stands, her first day in school while they waited outside the entire while, icing the star shaped cookies she helped her Mum bake, the trips they took together, the sniffles and the fevers, the football matches and the violin concerts. 

She remembered their presence at every important moment of her life and at those too that she had considered not-so-important at the time but valued now. She remembered being the cause for their joy, their smiles, their pride and sometimes worry.

She remembered being the star in their lives and she understood.

She understood the saga and beyond that was all of their lives. She understood her name better. She understood herself better.

She looked at them still enchanted with each other and smiling that smile that was reserved for her. The smile that said 'you make my world beautiful'. She smiled back with the realization that in her lived on their Dastaan...