It feels scratchy and unused... My voice which i don't voice often enough. A part that i smothered of my own free will... Smothered into silence. Silence that I use as a shield, more for others than for my own self. Silence as my hideout where i hide my pain and my confusion. And there is so much of me that is lost in the unsaid.
It's not that I have nothing better to tell you about myself. It's just that i realize the intensity of words and the power of wounds. What i may utter without second thought might be something that you carry in your heart forever and so I keep my silence. But, how is that any better because i am still lying and lies also cause hurt.
Also, it's not just my blues that i camouflage but the whole other side to me as well. They call me a Punjabi sometimes and I admit to being loud and brash. And even that gets silenced in me. I can come up with perfectly timed poor jokes at a moments notice. And yet, there are many a times when I'd bite my tongue on a smart alec comeback or an outright rude commment. Perfectly good jokes and winning arguements wasted.
So here i am putting an effort to introduce or rather, reintroduce myself to all. I have a lot to say and a lot share. I am not the smartest person you'd come across but I still think that what I say holds some worth. And actually, am tired of silences so I demand my say now. Phew! What a relief that finally I Said It!!!
It's not that I have nothing better to tell you about myself. It's just that i realize the intensity of words and the power of wounds. What i may utter without second thought might be something that you carry in your heart forever and so I keep my silence. But, how is that any better because i am still lying and lies also cause hurt.
Also, it's not just my blues that i camouflage but the whole other side to me as well. They call me a Punjabi sometimes and I admit to being loud and brash. And even that gets silenced in me. I can come up with perfectly timed poor jokes at a moments notice. And yet, there are many a times when I'd bite my tongue on a smart alec comeback or an outright rude commment. Perfectly good jokes and winning arguements wasted.
So here i am putting an effort to introduce or rather, reintroduce myself to all. I have a lot to say and a lot share. I am not the smartest person you'd come across but I still think that what I say holds some worth. And actually, am tired of silences so I demand my say now. Phew! What a relief that finally I Said It!!!
4 comments:
"What i may utter without second thought might be something that you carry in your heart forever and so I keep my silence."
:)
"But how is that any better because i am lying"
:P
"Phew! What a relief that finally I Said It!!!"
Did you ??
You are reading this space now......u tell me.....do you hear it???
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